Goodness Had Nothing To Do With It

"Goodness, what lovely diamonds."

"Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie."

Yes, it's true! For this trip, Mae West will be my inspiration, with her legendary feistiness as my guiding light. With my wedding ring in tow ("Excuse me miss, your husband is showing") I will be slaying terrorists and flu-infected birds with double-entendres and ... gin and tonic.

Of course given recent AWFUL press re Australian tourists, I will not be able to get up to half the hi-jinks I would prefer. Thanks for that Schapelle, Bali-9 (do you guys have names?) and Michelle Leslie. Obviously I'm not taking drugs, but I have now felt the need to cover my arse by getting a dr's letter for such simple pharmaceuticals as diarrhoea tablets. GOSH!

Although, if I was to get caught doing something stupid, I would want to look half as good as Michelle Leslie did (pre-burqua) and I wouldn't mind if I was carrying a Gucci handbag like hers. It looked real. *sigh* I just want to be effluent.